Friday, July 30, 2010

The Long and Winding Road


I heard that song a couple of days ago and it has been stuck in my head, as I sat down to write this post it seemed a fitting title.

This post is long overdue but it was very hard to sit down and write, I have been dreading writing it because by doing so I have to expose myself and my embarrassment. However, I knew eventually I would have to pull my head out of the sand, face the facts, live my life out loud and all that good stuff.

I sadly will be leaving my homestead. I have been working two jobs for over two years now trying to keep my head above water, after going from a 2 income home for the last 27 years to just me trying to keep it all going, I finally had to admit to myself that I can no longer keep up the pace nor do I want to. So I am allowing my home to go into foreclosure. I tried several attempts to get the bank to modify my loan but they won't do it. I am way upside down in the mortgage now that housing prices have bottomed out in my area and my home is falling apart literally lol!! I probably am looking at around 30,000.00 just to fix the things that need to be fixed to keep it and it is simply not worth it. The land is the heart breaker, I love that land with a passion, I pray that I someday will be able to have another homestead and begin again, in the mean time, I am determined to find ways to do an urban version of homesteading on a much smaller scale for now.





I have found a really great place to rent in a horse community so I can keep the horses and two of my dogs and still have room for my kids and grandkids who are all still living with me. With great sadness, I have been finding homes for all of my other critters, so far the ones I have given away have gone to great homes especially the dogs which is such a relief to me.





Going through 16 years worth of stuff is challenging to say the least but little by little I am making some headway. I rented a big storage shed and I am sure it will be filled to the rafters before all is said and done.





So, this blog has taken a turn in a new direction. I will still be following all of my favorite bloggers, living vicariously through the posts of people I have come to admire. I hope that a year from now I will have landed on my feet and be moving forward again with new enthusiasim and vision, but for now I am just trying to take it all one day at a time and do what has to be done to keep from losing my mind.

21 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear that. Life is terribly unfair at times it seems. *Hugs*

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  2. Laura, I'm so sorry to hear this news, but please remember that God never closes one door without opening another. I wish you much happiness at your new home and without the financial struggles ((BIG HUGS))

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  3. Laura. My heart aches for you. I am so sorry. Sometimes no matter how hard we work, it's just not enough. I too, wish you good luck in your new home and hope your financial worries will straighten themselves out after the move. Hang in there, easier times are coming...debbie (**lotsa big hugs**)

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  4. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. It does seem that life is unfair sometimes. But you are resilient and will survive and prosper. Try to look at the change as a new adventure, not a failure (and yes, I realize that it is much easier to say that than to do it!)
    Many, many hugs to you.
    Judy

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  5. I am so sorry...I hope you new path brings you happiness and rest and less stress. I can not imagine how hard this is for you....hugs..

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  6. Well, my heart breaks for you! But I feel you will land on your feet, and in time, something better will settle in your life!

    There is no need to be embarrassed about one single thing! You have worked very hard to do the right thing. There isn't much help for person's in your situation. The big banks got all the help.

    So glad you have found good home for your critters. That is a blessing.

    I am sorry you have had to carry this burden in the first place, but I definitely feel you are strong, and will get on your feet and a new path will open for you.

    You have a lot to deal with so don't feel bad about anything!!!!!

    If you are not to be here for awhile don't worry about that either.

    Take care of you, do what is best for you!

    Stop in and visit me I would like to maintain contact. If that isn't possible, don't worry about that either! :)

    I wish for good things to settle in your life to give you peace and meet your needs.

    Sending love and prayers.....

    Sandi

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  7. Laura, Sometimes in life we have to make choices that somehow seem unfair. But, I have a feeling this is a good beginning for you. Not a sad end!

    No one can keep up the pace you have been running with.
    It is better to let the home go than lose yourself because you are running everyday in circles just trying to keep up!

    So please, take a step forward, a big gulp of air, and smile a big heart smile...because I do believe you have made the wisest choice and everything is going to come together now ~ the way it should!

    And no "what if's" or beating yourself up over this!

    This is an exciting moment for you. Part of Homesteading is to try and live as frugally as one can while being self-sufficient. Working two jobs to make this happen would take a negative toll on you and family!

    I cannot wait to see your new life, adventures, and stories as they evolve. I do hope you continue blogging!! Your story is very important :)

    xo, misha

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  8. Like all the previous posts, I am so sorry that you will have to leave your homestead.

    It has to be a daunting task for sure. But it will bring you new clarity with the upcoming life changes. You might feel like you are drowning now but in time you will be back on top swimming along again.

    If you can, please share your journey - you are not alone and your experiences can help many others.

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  9. I am very sorry. This must be just so very hard. I hope your new place brings new and wonderful beginnings for you!

    Working 2 jobs (have been there) it can't go on long term or you pay for it with your health.

    You can still have your dreams, each new thing in life brings us new opportunities. :O)

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  10. Hey Laura,
    Even though your post is a sad one,I was so happy to see you on line again.I was wondering what was happening.
    I wish you nothing but the best,and in time things will sort out.It is hard times for many...
    This change will give you the chance to plan again ,and maybe not work so much and enjoy life.
    Sending a big squishy hug to you.
    Take care and let us know how things work out.
    Ill be back to check on you :0)
    Granny xo
    "When trouble knocks on your door,
    send faith to answer it "

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  11. You are in my prayers. One day at a time is all we can do.

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  12. *Hugs* This economy is in sad condition and I'm seeing your story repeated all around me. Keep your chin up, things can only go up from here and sometimes we have to give up the things we love most in order to do the important things. I hope one day you find "your land" again, but for now hang in there. "When you find you've reached the end of your rope, tie and knot and hang on Cowgirl!"

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  13. Laura, we have to talk soon. Do you still have my cell number? Might be nice to talk to your big brother, especially now. Been way too long. Do you still have my cell number?

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  14. I just now stumbled upon your blog and love it! I'm so sorry to hear of the trials you are going through now.....I hope things turn around for you soon. Thinking about you.

    Hi!


    I'm Lindsey. And I will be blogging here. I am a SAHM of two crazy kids; Sophie (5) & Milo (4). And have a husband -Adam- that is truly my heart and soul.

    -Lindsey


    http://veggiethought.blogspot.com/

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  15. I'm really sorry that my "about" somehow got my comment! I don't know how that happened! I'm hoping it's fixed this time : )

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  16. Chin up, Laura. You will make it through this. You may be losing your home, but that does not make you any less of a wonderful person. At one time I went from a large, very nice home in a very nice part of town to a basement apartment in another city, in another state, in a marginal area. It was very difficult,and quite a shock, but I am still here and stronger for it. You have done your best, to be sure! I will look forward to future stories. You will experience your dream again, maybe just in revised way.

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  17. I certainly can emphathize with you. If I ever have to move again, I can't do it. I want to relieve myself of being overwhelmed but I'm too physically and mentally drained. sure wish I had a 14 yr old helper. Heck, I just need a helper, no matter the age bracket.

    I wish you the best of luck. Two jobs is a bit much. Hope you are finally out of your burden of debt.

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  18. Laura,
    So sorry to hear all you've been through! I can so relate--my daughter's divorce caused her so much financial difficulty and we find ourselves in a house built in the 60's that needs a new roof, new heating, floors upstairs, 1960's kitchen and bathrooms! I don't think we'll live long enough to ever pay it off. We definitely are going to have to downsize soon! If I think about it too much it is overwhelming!!! Actually I've reached the point where I really want to downsize to something smaller and easier to keep up --but I do want to stay on the outskirts of town--just not too far out! Our retirement is zilch and I could go on and on--I know you know how this feels.
    It's got to get better--somehow I think things will work out for us all!
    Hugs, V.

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  19. Linked from the Old Geezer's blog. Liked the title of your blog!

    Sorry you have to leave your homestead. Ten years ago we left a two-acre homestead-type home in the country for a corner lot in a town. I still grieve over the move, but am adjusting! And I am finding out you can garden just about anywhere. I have some pics here of my "bucket garden" you might enjoy.
    http://warrenbaldwin.blogspot.com/2010/08/plant-garden.html

    God bless and good luck. wb

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  20. Laura, I'm new at this blogging and my sis "Marysunshine"s blog is helping me learn the process. Sorry about all your problems, I divorced 10 years ago and moved to my greenmtnretreat in the Mo. Ozarks to get back to the land. I know first hand at what you are going through. Please dont post this but you could e-mail me at greenmtnretreat@yahoo.com if you like. I have enjoyed reading your blog! take care, Jim

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  21. gosh darn, I said I was new at this! lol

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I am so happy you stopped by, I love reading your thoughts and reactions. My new motto (stealing from my favorite Disney ride) when it comes to my blog friends is, "It's a small world afterall" Thanks for visiting!

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