Friday, July 30, 2010
The Long and Winding Road
I heard that song a couple of days ago and it has been stuck in my head, as I sat down to write this post it seemed a fitting title.
This post is long overdue but it was very hard to sit down and write, I have been dreading writing it because by doing so I have to expose myself and my embarrassment. However, I knew eventually I would have to pull my head out of the sand, face the facts, live my life out loud and all that good stuff.
I sadly will be leaving my homestead. I have been working two jobs for over two years now trying to keep my head above water, after going from a 2 income home for the last 27 years to just me trying to keep it all going, I finally had to admit to myself that I can no longer keep up the pace nor do I want to. So I am allowing my home to go into foreclosure. I tried several attempts to get the bank to modify my loan but they won't do it. I am way upside down in the mortgage now that housing prices have bottomed out in my area and my home is falling apart literally lol!! I probably am looking at around 30,000.00 just to fix the things that need to be fixed to keep it and it is simply not worth it. The land is the heart breaker, I love that land with a passion, I pray that I someday will be able to have another homestead and begin again, in the mean time, I am determined to find ways to do an urban version of homesteading on a much smaller scale for now.
I have found a really great place to rent in a horse community so I can keep the horses and two of my dogs and still have room for my kids and grandkids who are all still living with me. With great sadness, I have been finding homes for all of my other critters, so far the ones I have given away have gone to great homes especially the dogs which is such a relief to me.
Going through 16 years worth of stuff is challenging to say the least but little by little I am making some headway. I rented a big storage shed and I am sure it will be filled to the rafters before all is said and done.
So, this blog has taken a turn in a new direction. I will still be following all of my favorite bloggers, living vicariously through the posts of people I have come to admire. I hope that a year from now I will have landed on my feet and be moving forward again with new enthusiasim and vision, but for now I am just trying to take it all one day at a time and do what has to be done to keep from losing my mind.