Today is a completely off topic day. As hard as it is for me to admit, I can't get into Christmas this year. I pride myself on being optimistic, seeing the bright side of life and moving forward but I am coming to realize that I just need to allow myself to face my feelings and accept that this is a year to take a step back, forgive myself for whatever it is that I think I could have, should have done differently. Anyone who has ever gone through a divorce may know what I am feeling. This will be the first Christmas in 27 years that our whole family will not be together, it's hard.
I know that time has an amazing way of healing, I pray that this time next year I will have my usual zeal for the season back. I am not a person who usually shares her personal emotions but I guess I feel the need to stop denying and mark this season as one of those life milestones that in the end will only make me stronger and wiser.
I'll be thinking about you this Christmas. It's tough because it seems like everyone expects you to put on a smile and have fun, or to be completely depressed so that they shower you with sympathy. You seem like a strong person, you'll make it.
ReplyDeleteI like your blog- you've gone so far in simple living in such a short time! Very impressive...
I would love to have some chickens, and maybe a cow (for cheese...mmm.) but we can't afford it right now, and our town won't allow it even though we have a big property. I'm just sticking with my garden, berries, and everything else I can. I love reading the little posts your write!
Hope you have a blessed week!
The Girl in the Pink Dress
What a rough spot for you. My only suggestion is to take some time to think about what is really important to you and establish YOUR traditions. Do something that gives you joy and a sense of satisfaction. Do it because it is what YOU want to do, rather than because it is what has always been done.
ReplyDeleteI know that probably doesn't help much. Hang in there... soon the days will start getting longer again and that always seems to pick things up.
Judy
First of all {{{{HUGS}}}} and second, sadly the holidays always make these sort of issues harder to deal with, not that they aren't hard anytime of the year. You've taken a good step in starting anew. The advice given above is excellent.
ReplyDeleteComing clean, so to speak, is also very freeing. I too have a hard time sharing emotions and struggles. I always feel as if I'm whining or being a baby about things, so tend to hold it all in. Thankfully I have the Lord to share these feelings with and He doesn't judge or think I'm whining, only shows His love and mercy, and comforts my pain.
Holding you up in prayer, may you feel the love and comfort of the Lord this holiday and as you continue to heal.
Blessings,
Kelle
Laura, life is full of challanges and some are not what we barganed for or wanted. Here is my favorite poem that I found when things went so wrong for me. I read it everyday for a year. It
ReplyDeletehelped me get through my rough days and I hope it will do the same for you.
TODAY
Why worry about tomorrow and the rising of
the sun, or anguish over past mistakes or
pain that cannot be undone?
Why waste life's precious moments on things
that bruise the heart, when Today is ours to
fashion to a work of art?
Today comes but once my friend. It never can
return, so use it wisely while you can. There's
a lesson you may learn.
Let history record the past no matter how sad
and painful it might be, and tomorrow come what
may, for it starts a Brand New Day!! Be content
to do your best with what you have TODAY!
author unknown
Christmas may not be what it was, but don't dwell on that and do what you can to make it a holly jolly Christmas for you! ...debbie
Thanks to all for the kind words, prose and good advice. I realized I needed to get up and change my perspective, I spent the day outside, actually saddled up and rode my horse, something I have not done in months. I am feeling much more relaxed and at peace. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day to begin again.
ReplyDelete